How to Find the Confidence You Need to Finish Your Book

by Lorna Faith

I cried tears of frustration to my husband.
“I have a detailed outline. Why can’t I finish this book?”

“I’m not sure,” he said, “but I do know this: you need to keep at it.” Murray’s gaze zeroed in on my own, his hands on my shoulders. “Right now you need to grab hold of that dog-on-a-bone determination of yours and commit to keep writing and learning and writing some more until you figure it out.”

That was three years ago.

I had just finished writing a detailed outline for the second book in my historical romance series titled, Anchoring Annaveta.

I had even gone so far as to have that ten-page outline critiqued by a professional editor, so I wouldn’t be scrambling as much as I did when I wrote the first book in the series.

Even though the outline did help, I still struggled to finish the book. I panicked at the thought of being stuck, especially when I was passionate to write this story.

A whole lot of worry and questions gnawed at me. Was I just that bad of a writer that I couldn’t pull this story together? Was I lazy? Was I simply not smart enough to figure out how to write it?

I Learned I Didn’t Have Compassion for Myself as a Writer

I was desperate to figure out why I struggled to finish my books.

I did what my husband suggested. I decided to keep writing and learning and writing some more until I figured this out.

It was through reading Julia Cameron’s book The Artist’s Way, Brene Brown’s book Gifts of Imperfection and Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear, that I really began to understand myself and my creative process.

When I committed to writing three handwritten Morning Pages every day as encouraged by Julia Cameron, I started to gain new insight and perspective on what had hindered my process to finish the books I started.

One of my biggest “aha” moments was that I didn’t have compassion for myself and the failures that are a natural part of the writing and creative process.

In fact, as I was reading through my journal during this time, I found a short paragraph of what I was going through.

I’ve included the excerpt below:

I feel so frustrated with myself and my lack of writing. Somehow I need to break down what’s holding me back from writing these books faster. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with all the details involved with writing, but that’s not the biggest problem that holds me back. Every time I sit down to write there is this massive fear of failure and self-doubt that weighs on me, a feeling that whatever I write won’t be good enough. I want to understand the reason for it and then do whatever it takes to get rid of it.

As I researched the issue, I began to understand how our minds process information. It was then that I realized one of the biggest hindrances to my own creativity was how I interpreted and applied situations to my own identity.

How We Go from Receiving Information to Experiencing Self-Doubt

There is a clear process the mind takes from receiving information to taking action.

1. Receive the information.

As you’re working, studying, or engaging in conversation with family or friends, information flows into your brain. You learn how people treat you, how they perceive you, what causes certain events, what happened in various places, what disasters occurred today, what the weather forecast is, and so much more.

Every day you take in more and more information that your brain has to manage.

2. Interpret the Information.

The information you receive immediately goes to interpretation.

This is the fast, reactive process, and is where you make snap judgments about something as to whether you like or don’t like it. You ask yourself whether this information is: safe or unsafe, familiar or unfamiliar, certain or uncertain, etc.

At this point your biases also come into play. You interpret the information as either good or bad. This is done at the unconscious level, which means you’re not really aware you’re doing it. It just happens.

3. Apply the Interpretation to Identity.

The brain moves quickly from interpreting the information to applying it to your identity. You ask questions like: What does this mean to me? What does this say about me? Does this mean I’m a good person or a bad person? Should I deal with this? Should I not?

How you label things here can really change your life forever. It’s at this turning point that you need to be very aware of your own thoughts and feelings and how you describe yourself.

4. Set an Intention.

After you take in the information, interpret it, and decide how it applies to you, the next thing the brain does is set an intention as to what to do with that information.

Here you ask questions like: What am I going to do in the future because of this? What action will I take, if any?

How you answer these questions can put you either in self-protective mode or keep you open to new possibilities.

5. Set an Initiative.

From the intention you set in the above steps flows all your initiative. You can also think of this as your motivation, or the energy behind your desire to take action. In this last step, you ask questions like: What do I really want to do in the world? What goals am I going after? How am I really showing up?

Most people don’t understand where their initiative — their motivation to take action — comes from. I didn’t understand this either, which is why learning these steps was so helpful.

I Accepted Negative Labels On Myself, Blocking My Creativity

After learning about the five steps, I realized I had taken the wrong road in step three: Identity. From the negative experiences in my life, I had chosen to default to accepting negative labels on myself in the identity stage.

When I was told that my writing was horrible in my early elementary school years, I took that pain of rejection and the resulting bad feelings about myself and set the intention to make sure I never experienced that pain again. As a result, I protected myself by avoiding situations where I would have had to share who I really am (spoken or written).

From there my initiative was to chase only those goals that would keep me safe and well protected from rejection or criticism.

When I chose to protect myself from pain, I not only blocked out one of the things I desired most (connection with others), but I also caused a block in my own creativity because of all the walls I placed around myself.

Since the pain caused me to put negative labels on my identity, it also hindered my intentions and initiative.

How to Shift Your Mindset to Create Writing Confidence

Maybe you, too, chose self-protection in your writing and creativity.

Let’s go through that example again, and see how we might rewrite it in our minds.

  • Monday there was something you couldn’t figure out in your writing (information received). In my example above, I was trying to learn to write better, but was told my writing was horrible.
  • Perhaps, you believed this writing project would either fail or succeed depending on your next steps (your interpretation). In the above example, maybe instead of just believing my teacher, I could have realized his statement that my writing was horrible reflected only his opinion and not necessarily the truth.
  • Next, you could tell yourself that what this said about you was: I am confident that there is some way to figure this out either by researching, asking a mentor or by learning and working at it (your identity). In my example, I could have asked my mom or sister to help me write better.
  • So, you decided: I will keep trying and work on this until somehow I figure out a solution (your intention). In my example, I decided I would continue to learn and practice how to be a better writer.
  • In the end, you decided: I won’t give up. I will take action every day until I’ve got this figured out (your initiative). In my example, I made the commitment to write everyday until I figured out how to write better stories.

Observe how you label your identity and intentions carefully, because out of that flows all of your initiative. It’s only when identity and intentions are free to flow unhindered that we have the freedom to take the actions we really want to take, like writing and finishing a book.

Have faith in yourself and your ability to grow and learn as a writer and storyteller. As you continue to put in the effort to write, and as you keep learning, you’ll find that you can finish your book!

* * *

When not escaping to another world writing yet another romance, Lorna Faith spends her time drinking green smoothies and cleverly thinking of ways she can convince her hubby and children to watch yet another old movie.

If you love to read Historical and Western Romance, you can find more about Lorna and grab your free historical western romance ebook here.  First-time writers can receive a free ebook and other helpful tips here.

For more information on Lorna and her work, please see her website, or connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube.


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3 Comments

  1. Thanks so much for having me as a guest on your blog today Colleen! It was such fun to be here… love all the helpful blogposts you have here for writers 🙂

    1. Author

      Thank you, Lorna! Love this post. :O)

      1. It’s a bit angsty… but very real! And I’m happy you like it Colleen 🙂

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